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Coach Tony Dungy: Making Life Better
With his head bowed and his eyes closed extra tight, ‘please help Linden find his it. Amen!’”1The “it” Tony prayed for was a sense of purpose to provide direction for his little brother’s life. Find out about the amusing yet true story of how that prayer was answered by reading Tony Dungy’s children’s book, You Can Do It!
Dinner Table Mentoring
Tony didn’t wait to become famous and have a podium from which to speak to take on the role of mentor-leader. He used the dinner table as his platform, with his only audience being God and his family. After becoming the first African-American head coach to win a Super Bowl, and the only NFL coach to lead his teams to the playoffs for 10 consecutive years, Tony’s platform still uplifts God and family.
Calm But Not Cowardly
“He’s staying here with me and, if you remove him from this sideline, I’m taking my team to the locker room where we’ll change, and then leave on our buses. You can explain to Wayne Weaver, the Jaguars’ owner, why he’s refunding everyone’s money.” That was Coach Dungy’s response to a security guard trying to remove his son from the sideline prior to a game because of “league rules.”2 Eric had been assisting his father during games on the sideline for the past four seasons, and Tony ensured it wouldn’t stop that day in Jacksonville.
This scene not only demonstrates Coach Dungy’s priority of fatherhood over football but also hints at the composure he was noted for on the sideline. He kept calm but didn’t compromise his convictions. He wasn’t always like that, though. How did Tony go from a college player that got ejected from a game for fighting to an NFL coach sometimes criticized for not being aggressive enough to win?
Make it Better
His desire to rightly represent Christ compelled Tony to practice self-control in challenging situations. He didn’t automatically stop getting angry; he just learned to handle it effectively. When I asked Coach Dungy how he keeps his temper in check, I anticipated something more complex than what he told me. His keys to anger management are found in two simple words: practice and habit. He stated that he practiced responding differently until it became habit.
So what exactly does he practice? Tony simply asks himself what his father used to ask: “What are you going to do to make the situation better?” Sound a little too simplistic? Think about a few things: (1) Dungy’s example proves that it works; (2) Anger can take control too quickly to have a complex plan for composure; (3) Asking yourself this question stimulates positive creativity rather than impulsively blowing up and regretting it later. How many school suspensions, job losses, divorces, deaths, and prison sentences could be avoided by answering this one question.
Life Lasts Longer Than Lust
Along with his one-question anger decelerator, Coach Dungy had a one-question hormone regulator. I was once again hoping that he would provide some deep insight that kept him from going “girl crazy” [his words]. Major headlines over the last couple of years have featured a murdered ex-quarterback and a disgraced golfer as examples of the detrimental effects of “girl crazy” athletes. So what was the question that led to his delayed gratification? “Can I really see myself being with her for the rest of my life?”
The strength of this question was bolstered by goals that he established during childhood. Dungy knew that his career goals, along with the larger goal of having a closely knit family like the one he came from wouldn’t be realized by wasting time with short-term relationships. Asking that question yields much different results than envisioning yourself with someone for the night or until someone better comes along. How many single-parent families, venereal diseases, abortions, and crimes of passion would be avoided by answering this one question?
Redemption from Wrong Answers
What if you’ve been answering these questions wrong or didn’t even think to ask such questions? Be encouraged by the fact that nobody gets it right all the time, not even Coach Dungy. His favorite Bible personality, the apostle Paul, wrote: “All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
The good news is that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Jesus died to save you and give you a new start. That doesn’t mean consequences will immediately disappear or that people will forget about your past. As Coach Dungy says, “If it took a lifetime for you to get this way, it may take a little time to understand and reverse the negative effects.”3But if you let Jesus begin a good work in you, the ultimate Mentor-Leader has promised to carry it through to completion on the day of Christ Jesus (see Philippians 1:6). The only question that remains is: “Will you let Him get started on making your situation better?”
REFERENCES
1Tony Dungy, You Can Do It! (New York: Little Simon Inspirations, 2008), p. 12.
2Tony Dungy, Quiet Strength (Carol Stream: Tyndale, 2007), p. 225.
3Tony Dungy, The Mentor Leader (Carol Stream: Tyndale, 2010), p. 55.
Visit www.coachdungy.com for more information on Tony Dungy’s books, podcasts, and videos.
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